Resettling.

2009 has been a hear of fluctuations. Ever since class of 2009 graduated, I feel like I've been stuck at stalemate and not quite sure what LIFE is missing. Berkeley wasn't the same Berkeley that I fell in love with 4 years ago. I am slowly loosing my connection with the bay and is in need to reconnect soon before I can no longer call it my home. Glendora is no longer my home. Beside the fact that my family is there, Glendora really has nothing for me.

It's hard to go back to life as it was when you've learned enough to redefine what life is.

So I left for Paris. And in a nutshell, Paris was hard. My 4 months was a roller coaster ride of physically and emotional dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction because I was in one of the most beautiful city in the world, but I was missing people that i loved and cared about. Nonetheless, Paris was a life changing learning experience for me. It was the place where I found myself, loss myself, then found myself again.

In Paris i...

Stepped WAY the fuck outta my comfortzone and really tried to live in a foreign country. I never felt "foreign" until I stepped food into Paris.

Reconnected with art.

Took the time to "BE" instead of "DO". I lived without an agenda for 4 months.

Breathed. Not just breath enough to put air in my lounges, but i BREATHED in the beauty of the city, the beauty of living, the beauty of learning how to live with myself and just...me


A lot of things I learned about myself in Paris that I would have never taken the time to think about if I was living in Berkeley. But even then, I never found what was missing or what I was looking when I left Berkeley, only to return with the same dissatisfaction back in Cali.

Maybe what I'm missing is a thing called "consistency". Maybe I am longing for the homeland. I guess i'll just have to go there to find out.