The unfamiliar places.

Hello community, family, and boos.

A lot has happen in 3 weeks. Lots of adventures, lots of french, lots of lack of not knowing french, lots of people, lots of sadness, lots of suttling feelings, lots of re-situating. Living in a place 110% unfamiliar to me has been the most challenging experience in a while. French people are different.

Couple days ago i had 167 new e-mails in my inbox. Yup, school began, campus community organizing taking off for the semester. As i read the e-mails, i wish i was at everyone's first gent, at SEAM mtgs, applying for internships, sitting in the 515 Eshleman. We don't really know what it means when people say "there's nothing like the bay" untill you're somewhere way the fuck away from the bay. The bay area is really a special place. So special that I don't understand why else where can't be like the bay.

A year ago I applied to EAP France because I was spontaneous. I wanted to throw myself in a place where I don't know the langauge, the culture, the lifestyle and just to explore and go from there. 3 weeks in and i realize it's been much more difficult than I've ever imagined. Who woulda known that I would be in such a different place of my life right now then i was a year ago. I am re-visiting what it REALLY means to step the FUCK outta my comfort zone during my stay here.

In the process of trying to figure out what I'm doing here, these words have helped me through mymost difficult days...

"Take it for what it is...there's really no down time in Berkeley"

"Life is like a rainbow, you need both the sun and the rain to make the colors appear"

"Sometimes its through thouse hardships that we learn the most about ourselves, who we are, and where we want to be and how we want to move in the world. I know you are there for a reason"

"My journal was my best friend when I was abroad, it helped me feel so much stronger that throughout anything, I was never really alone because I had myself"



Looking at facebook defaults have been hard, as it reminds me of the love that I have back at home and the lack there of here. Looking at the 2 pictures that I brought to Paris with me, made me cry the first couple days I got here. Life without a boo has made me realize how much each of them mean to me and how dependent I am of them.

It's been one of the hardest 3 weeks of my life. But Today. Today I am okay.