Lookin thru Myspace blog and found a private entry written by me. Funny i still ask the same questions today.
They say love is suppose to last forever...but so many ppl fall out of "love" after so long.
I've had lots of time to [re]evaluate my past lately since i been home...and i came to realize that part of the reason why i tend to be quite flirtacious with the ladies...yet...never seriously pursue them...is partly because of the thing we call the "past". I think the past shapes the way we r in the present/future. And for me, my past (along w/personal flaws)has made me afraid to fall in love again.
And b-cuz im afraid to fall in love, i become so cautious of my feelings that anytime i begin to have feelings for sum1 beyond the "oh i think ur fine so let me be your car and you can be my road so I can ride and hug all your curves" level, i automatically catch myself say "erh! Waita min. Lets do pros and cons before we move on" and never making it past the cons.
I think the saddest part about love is when u know u loved them so much...so much you can't get them out of your head no matter how hard you try...so much that 5 years later...you still sit there...on her birthday and mothers day...with your finger switching back between the red and gree "calling" buttons on ur cellphone wondering if you should call her or not...the kind of love that makes you sacrifice everything you possibly can for them...
so much that they become the reason u r afraid to love again...
yet...u can't remember what u fell so much in love with in the first place.
1 comment:
i like this.
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