Yes, it still suck.

She was right. It sucks. She said hi, and bye. Then i decided to hug her bye. I had intended to talk to her. Ask her how she's doing, when she has to move, what she's been up to, when does she start school, how's her handling not being around her mom and sister. But no words. came out of my mouth the whole night. And so we both occupied ourselves with other people and didn't look at each other. I wanted to tell her when we said bye that it was nice seeing her and that she looked good. I couldn't even do that. And so i've been sitting here moping around. Realizing that it's not my place anymore. When i overheard her convo about moving out, not knowing where to live, who to live with. I wanted to tell her i have a friend moving up in couple of weeks who needs an apt mate around her school, or tell her the price range in berkeley, but i had to refrain...because it's not my place anymore to support her. Yet I yearn, to care, to love, to be there. And so i stop ease dropping and tune her out.

Fuck. I still care. I still love. It's not over. When is it gonna be over.